Past tense

Last night I found out that someone I loved very much has died. It's weird saying that in the past tense - loved, instead of love. It doesn't feel right, because I still love her, even if she's gone. She was my aunt. She was an artist, a comedian, and supporter of all things whimsical and silly. When I was little, every time I visited her we'd take turns wearing her chicken shaped tea cozy as a hat. As I got older she'd show me how to use things like her kneadable eraser and watercolour pencils. I have a picture of a castle on my wall that she drew me once while taking a graphic design course. It was the inspiration for most of my little-girl dreams, and many of my big-girl day dreams too.

I'm not going to lie - it hurts right now. I'm a mess and I didn't even get to see her as often as I wanted to. I can't begin to imagine what her husband and sons are feeling. I know we'll be ok in the long run, but right now I can't see it. However, my Mom just sent me something that we both think Auntie Anne would have approved of, considering who she was. Here it is:

" Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the opposite of death, and therefore you must at the very least think noisy and colourfully, or you're not alive." -- Mel Brooks

So that's what I'm going to do.